Here am I, send me, send me!

 South Africa Team 1824 Blog #1

10-3-2018

“Here am I, send me, send me!”

From Hark, the Voice of Jesus Calling, Lutheran Service Book #827

First blog post for my first missionary trip. We leave in 17 days, and it will be my first time using a passport. First time off the North American continent. Other than a few sojourns into Canada, and one brief and scary day in Tijuana, Mexico in 1978, I’ve never left the U.S.A. So what in the world am I thinking, signing up for a mission trip to South Africa?! More on that later.

This will eventually be a group blog and will include stories about the other missionaries and our shared experience in Mhluzi, South Africa. But for now, until we’re together at the airport ready to depart, it’s just me and the story of my journey. It’s all I know.

Last Friday was a surreal day for me. On September 28, 2018 I was in a meeting, pre-planning my mother’s funeral. It’s a good idea to have all my ducks in a row before I leave the country, as far as Mom’s care is concerned, especially if she were to pass away while I’m gone.

My mother Margaret is an Alzheimer’s patient, living in a memory care unit near my home. She doesn’t know any of us anymore, and often can’t remember her own name. My emotions were running high, especially because it was also Mom’s 91^st birthday. Odd day to plan her funeral, I know.

Later the same day, my niece Allison gave birth to my mother’s 3^rd great-grandchild! Mason being born on Margaret’s birthday was a nice coincidence, and a confirmation of the circle of life. It brought to mind God’s amazing plan for each of us; a time to be born, and a time to die. Mason’s wonderful little life is just beginning, while Margaret, the great-grandma he’ll probably never meet, is nearing the end of hers.

I’m in the middle somewhere, surely closer to the end than the beginning, but with the potential for many more years to live. I’m nearly 60. If my life span mimics my mother’s, I have a third of my life still in front of me. A third!

The first third, I was a child, in school, then in the Air Force, after which I worked, married and started a family. The biggest chunk of the second third of my life was being a mom to our four young ones. I was forcibly retired from my job as “stay-at-home-mom” when our youngest up and left for college. You really can’t call yourself a stay-at-home-mom when the home no longer houses kids. It’s just not done.

So Emily leaving home begged the question, “What will I do with the ‘third third’ of my time on Earth?” Well, why not work for Jesus? I tried getting a job at church, but it wasn’t meant to be. I flailed around for a while, tried different things, still felt vaguely unsatisfied.

When in a church service one Sunday, the powerful hymn, Hark, the Voice of Jesus Calling, jolted me a little. I prayed about it, and I said to God very meekly and without conviction, “Um, send me maybe? Probably not right yet, though.”

The thought of being “sent” rattled around in my head for a while, especially when Sandy Hardies talked about her mission trips. We had prayed about Sandy’s trips with MOST Ministries for years and years. Now she’s in Mexico, now she’s in Guatemala, and so on. And on. And on. I started to envy her a little, even though I knew she wasn’t on a pleasure cruise but was somewhere working very hard, helping people and spreading the Gospel.

During my prayer time, the thought kept coming to me, “Why not go into the mission field?”  I kept squashing that thought until it became too strong and refused to be squashed.

Why NOT me? Why shouldn’t I go? Not a two- or three-year mission trip like the kind that you read about, but a short-term mission like the ones offered by MOST Ministries. Like the one to South Africa in October which Sandy is leading. South Africa. Holy smokes.

When I spoke to my family about it, they were surprised. A few seemed to think I was off my rocker. Here are a few facts about me which do not say “Linda, go to SOUTH AFRICA:”

1.     I don’t like to fly. Since they don’t offer a boat to South Africa, I’ll be spending long, long hours on an airplane, much of the time over water where there’s no place to land in case the plane needs a little rest because one of the engines is misbehaving.

2.     I don’t like bugs, spiders, snakes, or anything that crawls or is in the reptile family. Africa has all of these. Large, ugly bugs and creepy things, along with parasites and malaria-carrying mosquitos. Mosquitos love me. LOVE me. My grandson Bradley told his mom after looking at bugs that live in South Africa, “Gammy’s not gonna like it there.” The wisdom of a four-year-old.

3.     I’m neither in the peak of health, nor in the blush of youth.

4.     I miss my husband and our bed when I’m parted from either. (Maybe that should have been #1. Sorry, Sweetie.)

Despite all that, when I first heard Sandy mention the South Africa trip I knew I wanted to go. I knew. It was and is a “God thing.” He has a plan for me, and I don’t have to know what it is. God has a plan, and I am content just in knowing so. He has freed me from all fear, and I cheerfully say to Him, “here am I, send me, send me!”

Respectfully submitted,

Linda Meier

Missionary (!)